Journey

It's a funny feeling. Being in charge of an entire people, that is. At first I thought this was going to be a piece of cake; wear some pretty dresses, do a few rituals, and train the newbies. But now I find out that the entire island is built upon traditions thousands of years old and it's up to me to uphold them. I have to be load bearing pillar for all of my family. I often wonder if I'm strong enough or even wise enough to be that moral center. I've done much in the past week. A lot of it has been receiving training, mental mostly.

I enter this special meditative state where I can train with all the past priestesses, going over spells, rituals, traditions, and even fighting tactics so I can be prepared to lead the girls into battle if need be. Some of the traditions are kind of daunting though, I mean, going to America so I can "gain an understanding of how the outside world works" sounds very ominous. I can't help but wonder what these people will be like. Will they be fat, lazy savages, or will they be delightful and intellectually engaging?

Well, whoever they may be, Teresa told me that I have to find a mate among one of them. Thank gods I don't have to have a child with him right away, I just have to pick one, kind of like going to a candy shop. Pick the tastiest one. ;-) The day I was getting ready to leave, Sophia came to me, and I finally had the chance to talk to her about the way she looked at the induction ceremony.

Me: "Sophia, I noticed that you looked at me with such anger in your eyes, why?"

Sophia: "Oh please, Serenity, don't flatter yourself, I was just trying to concentrate on the ceremony."

Me: "Come on, I might be out of it sometimes but, you were burning a hole right into my dress."

S: "Wow, you actually managed to keep one on this time?"

Me: "Listen! Tell me what your problem is right now!"

S: "You! You are my problem! I've always had to be in your shadow all my life. It doesn't even feel like I'm me anymore, since everyone calls me 'Serenity's sister' anyway. Do you have any idea how much shit I've gone through trying to become priestess?"

Me: "I-"
S: "No, shut up! This is my time to talk! You're water abilities came naturally while I worked so...so hard for me. And here you come prancing along with your high heels and walk right over my dreams."

Me: "Things do not come naturally to me. Water doesn't magically flow from my hands...well, it does, but still it's not easy! I worked day and night to be who I am today. I was always the screw up when I was younger, when you were a baby. But when I saw looking up at me from your crib trying to mimic what I was doing, I knew I had to do better. So I completely threw myself into training so I could reach the level of an elite. Don't you see? I did all this so you would be proud of me!"

S: "Well, it looks like somewhere along the line you lost your reason. I'm lost. Goodbye, Serenity."

And with that she left. I could have ran after and made her listen to me but, I figured that would just make things worse. I'll just give her time to figure things out. Looking out at the ocean from this airplane window really puts things in perspective for me; we're so completely insignificant compared to this gigantic blue pearl we live on. I wonder, does what we do even matter in the big scheme of things? I guess, the only way we can find out is to do what we think is right and hope that it really is the right thing to do. Take a leap of faith.